Smultronställen

FLASHBACK FRIDAY: 35/52

August has flown by in a second and feels like it lasted forever at the same time. It was such an incredibly exciting month with a huge change: starting my first full-time job. I am doing a traineeship for the next two years for one of the public broadcasting agencies in Germany. During my traineeship I will be learning about TV, radio, online and social media journalism all across Northern Germany.

I was so thrilled to start this new period of my life, I have waited for an intensely long time to both get this job and then to start it and yet at the beginning of August I was pretty nervous. With my new job came a new city, 17 new other trainees whom I was going to live with and a lot of uncertainty.

Especially because I was thrown in a situation not many of us experience in their mid-to-late-twenties: I was thrown in a completely new group. While many of us move to a new city to study or for a job in our early twenties, at a later point we are usually somewhat settled in our daily lives, have a set group of friends, possibly a partner and a pretty set way of day to day life. Meanwhile me and my 17 colleagues just got completely uprooted, moved to a new city, in a house full of complete strangers, who are sharing at least 9 hours of our day and are our main social contacts.

I was terrified of this change, I was so anxious I was not going to like anybody or no one was going to like me, I thought it was an insane idea and yet here I am absolutely loving every second and missing the others after a day spent apart. The situation I am in at the moment is new, it is uncommon, it is challenging, but it is so good for me. It has challenged how I view myself, it has thrown a spotlight back on how I present myself and interact with others and I am pretty sure it has made me a somewhat more self-aware and better person. Compared to 16 year-old me I do not feel any need to be more guarded or act different from, who I am, but being in a new group with very different characters and people I would probably not normally hang out with, has allowed me to change my perspective of how I view myself and others. It challenged me to be more open-minded, more patient and a better team-worker
I have encountered new ways of thinking, new ways of living, new ways of approaching work and groups and I am lucky enough to draw from each of this living experiences. I think that especially in a field like journalism, seeing and learning about different approaches is so inspiring and so good for your work. All of my colleagues have worked in different fields, have other experiences than I have and other skills and it is so great and such a luxury to benefit from all that knowledge.

And on top of that they are such nice people. I was sure I was going to have a mental breakdown after one week of living with people I spend all day with, I was sure I was going to hide in my room a lot of the time and that I would be completely burned out after a week. Yet here I am after spending one night without them and can´t wait to see them again. There is nothing quite like shoving 18 strangers in one house and force them to learn new skills for eight hours a day to make sure friendships will be built extremely quickly. I feel like I am in an extremely cool gang, always leaving the house with a group of at least six people and it feels awesome to know there is always someone to watch TV, cook, get some ice-cream or head to the gym.

What this experience has taught me is something I think most of underestimate: the best thing you can do is to throw yourself into new situations, new groups, new places any chance you get. To always challenge your beliefs, your perception of yourself and others, to embrace the unknown. Those moments are when we are most alive, experience everything most intensely and I ultimately think they are what make us happy, because they make us grow. Or to put it with one of my all-time favourite quotes:

"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun."

- Christopher McCandles

Read: Way too little (I am busy hanging out with the same people everyday for 10 to 11 hours). But finished An American Marriage.

Felt: So intensely content with my life. I feel so incredibly lucky to be where I am in life right now, to know what I will be up to for the next two years, to learn about something I am so passionate about.

Drank: An intense amount of sparkling wine.

Spent: 90 per cent of my time in a radius of 500 meters and have seen about two other corners of my new city.

Baked: Another birthday cake, which burned but feel like this is now my birthday tradition for people I really like.

Learned: how to film and edit on a smartphone, how to write news, how to pronounce word endings correctly and how much I love learning and being busy.

Slept: Almost all day, when I am not currently running around like I am on crack.

Watched: Season two of Mindhunter and absolutely loved it. If you are into serial killers and true crime like I am: please watch it!

Went: To the Dockville again. This festival will forever have my heart even though it rained cats and dogs this time around

7 Kommentare

, by Céline

SELFCARE SUNDAY: BALANCE

Balance has become somewhat of a buzzword, especially in the #fitfam of Instagram. But it can be quite difficult to fill this word with actual meaning. For years I personally did not feel like I understood the concept of balance at all. I am pretty extreme in everything I do, I have extreme highs and intense lows, I need to see people 24/7 or not at all, I love you with all my heart or dislike you with a passion... let´s just say balance sounds very cool to me, but just like doing any type of ball sports it is highly unlikely for me to ever be good at it.

While I may never really have balanced emotions and in a way am really happy about being able to feel everything so intensely, I have always longed for balance with food and exercise. I. have talked about my struggles with food and the gym multiple times on here, but in a way I feel like this year it finally clicked for me. I have always been able to push myself for a clear goal for a limited time. I have done the Bikini Body Guide by Kayla Itsines religiously for a few weeks to then just completely fall of the bandwaggon. I managed to eat extremely "clean" for a week or two. But then I would just give up on the gym all together or end up bingeing on the foods I restricted. I never managed to understand how people kept it together so well for so long, how they managed to live their life without fucking up, where they took all of this discipline from and I felt like a massive failure. I had this idea inside of my head, that there are foods which are good (quinoa, veggies and fruits) and foods, which are bad (fries, chocolate, candy). In my head every time I would eat "bad" foods I lost on some type of cosmic score board and was a weak and lazy human being. I also used to look at exercise the same way. Good people exercise every day except for one rest day, they push themselves, stick to a plan and never miss a workout.

This year for maybe the first time ever I decided to look at "fitness" in a different way. I was tired of the continuous fight against my own body, I was done with looking at exercise as punishment and food as categories. I am not going to tell you I was able to just push the ideas, that have been engrained into me away by myself. One of the main reasons I was able to approach food and exercising in a new way was changing the way I consumed social media. I unfollowed so many influencers in the last year and shifted my focus to accounts, that promote a realistic, holistic way of living. There is probably not enough credit I can give to the @fashionfitnessfoodie but I can honestly say her content has changed my life.

I think we all cannot begin to grasp the amount of lies and deception that go into fitness Instagram accounts, the amount of illegal drugs, extreme restriction and disordered eating behind so many of these accounts. I personally have never suffered from an eating disorder, but I truly don´t think if you ever had a deeply unhealthy relationship with food and exercise you should surround yourself with only these topics or make a living from it. I don´t think eating eating a raw diet or living off of protein shakes and chicken and working out six times a week is a way to heal your eating disorder, I think you are still struggling with your addiction just dressed up in a more acceptable way. Consistently presenting your body and your workout schedule as the one thing you base your self and monetary worth on, after supposedly recovering from an eating disorder is like being an alcoholic, who works in a liquor store. And that may be detrimental to you on a personal level, but if you dress this obsession up as a way to cure an eating disorder on social media and push that idea on other people you can possibly hurt but thousand of others.

So many of the fitspo accounts tell us about how they don´t restrict foods, but we never ever see them eating chocolate. Or they have a breakdown over "overeating" and skip meals and overexercise to make up for their terrible mistake. They claim they just lost the weight super easily while clearly eating miniscule portions and intense restrictions. They say they don´t use any supplements to then take drugs in secret and selling you meal replacement shakes or skinny teas.

It is not normal to only eat chicken breast and broccoli. It is not normal or attainable to exercise six times a week with a full-time job and it is incredibly easy to lie and hide unhealthy or extreme habits on social media. We often feel like we know the influencers we follow, like we are part of their daily life, but even if they upload Insta stories and content that takes up an hour everyday, that still is only five per cent of their lives. Becoming fit and having an amazing body or a six pack or growing a booty takes time. It takes effort, it is not a linear development and it is not a clear-cut formula for everyone. Anybody, who says they reached their goal weight in 10 weeks or lost 15 kilos in 5 weeks is lying or damaging their bodies to the extreme. This is one thing, that took ages for me to really understand: fitness and weightloss take a lot of time if done correctly.

Another thing that was crucial for me to learn was that there is no black and white to fitness. You are not a terrible person for eating chocolate, you are not a fuck-up for skipping a workout. You do not need to be "perfect" or work out every single day, you don´t have to completely ban tasty foods and you are not a bad person if you choose less nutrient dense foods or need to rest after an eight hour work day: you are human.

You may be able to fit in six workouts a week for a limited time or not eat chocolate or cake, but it is not something that is realistic for the rest of your life - unless you want it to be pretty sad. Being extremely strict with diet and exercise may work for four weeks, but not a year and we need to stop beating ourselves up or thinking we have fallen of some artificial band-waggon. THERE IS NO BANDWAGGON: There is you and the hope to feel good in your body. It is a marathon not a race, you will have rest periods and periods, where you do amazing.

For so long I demonized certain foods or taking more than one rest day. That attitude was sold to me for years. I thought I was simply too weak or not disciplined enough to spend all my free time at the gym or skip out on cake and chips. But at the end of the day it does not really matter if you eat a 100 calorie apple or a 100 calorie chocolate bar. Obviously we should all aim to nourish our bodies, but having cake or chips at times does not kill you. It does not immediately lead to weight-gain. Your body does not make a difference in what kind of calories it takes in. So you are not ruining your day by eating tasty foods and allowing yourself chocolate or candy or a glass of wine, it does not mean you messed up, it means you lived. And if you allow yourself these types of food whenever you want them you do not need to binge them and excessively overeat.

The same goes for exercise. Your body does not immediately bloat up after missing one session. If you do a workout guide your body does not know if you were supposed to do four or three sessions a week: you can miss a workout and still be fit, feel good and achieve your goals.

I think many of us struggle with the ideal or goal of a "perfect" life. A life, where you work out, eat healthy, meet friends, have an exciting lovelife five years into your relationship and nail it at work. And straying from this ideal is somehow automatically messing up or failing. But you can have both. You can have a happy fulfilled life and mainly focus on nutrient-dense foods and still eat cake or too much candy when watching the Bachelor with your girlfriends. You will not want a salad after a night out and I for one cannot be bothered to skip out on Aperol Spritz in favour of wodka soda, because it is lower in calories.

By taking out this intense pressure I got in the best shape of my life. I am stronger and more flexible than I ever was. Despite living all across Germany, despite travelling for two months this year I managed to fit in some form of excercise in almost all of my weeks. I don´t mind missing a week of excercise, I don´t think I have to fit in a HIIT session on vacation, I don´t care if I don´t work out for a week or just eat fun foods for a while. I don´t restrict my calories after a holiday or the weekend. Because this is not a 12 week programme. It is my life.

I also don´t need to stick to a strict programme. Now that it is warmer I enjoy running outside loads. I loved the intense HIIT workouts I did in Australia and while travelling, but three months in I got extremely tired of jumping around all the time. I want to be healthy and strong and fit, but I also want to enjoy it. In an ideal world I aim for five workouts a week, but if I don´t manage to fit that in I don´t beat myself up. I simply have other priorities in my life during that time. My health and fitness is important to me, but so are so many other things in my life and I am not willing to sacrifice time with my family or friends or just for myself to head to the gym. Because I shifted my mindset from being perfect to feeling good. And that seems a pretty good way of living a balanced life for me.

8 Kommentare

, by Céline

FLASHBACK FRIDAY: 32/52

The past two weeks have been an absolute whirlwind. It has been such an intensely long time of waiting for a new chapter in my life to start and then it was here and the time since first of August feels both like an eternity and about five seconds. I am in what I think is quite an unusual situation, starting yet another round of education after finishing five years at university and with two degrees up my sleeve. I am learning to be a journalist after having worked in journalism for a good chunk of my life, which is another curiosity. And to top it all of at the ripe age of 26 I am finally fulfilling my childhood dreams of going to boarding school and share a house with 17 others doing the same vocational training.

It has been an incredibly fun time getting to know everyone, always being just a knock on one door away from hanging out with somebody, to spend eight hours a day together and then head out for a run or to get ice-cream or to go food shopping. For me being quite the introvert having almost every aspect of my life turned into a group activity was beyond daunting, but after only a full week together it seems weird to not see my colleagues almost 24/7. There has been almost zero time to myself and/or time to stop and I feel like I am filled to the absolute brim with impressions, talks, inspiration and the talk we had about security in the work place. I have not really processed anything, that has happened in the past week, but I am incredibly happy to do what I love, to be in such a new and creative situation and to be happy with the people I am surrounded with. The days are just flying by at the moment and there is so much happening in one day, that I struggle to fully take it all in. I am getting so much information and input about the next few weeks, I am learning 17 autobiographies, I am meeting new people every day... It is a little overwhelming, but also so rewarding to be so busy, to actually have a goal every day and to have a full schedule from morning to night. I may get tired of it in a bit, but currently it feels good to be challenged so much, to be put in new situations and opportunities to learn and grow every day. I notice now how much I missed this and to be able to do it in a field I am actually passionate about, to make constant steps towards becoming a better journalist and towards a more fulfilling career is incredibly exciting. I am knackered right now, but also thrilled to see what is coming over the next few weeks. Every new day at the moment is so different, exciting and interesting and that is just an amazing feeling.

Read: I finished "Everything is illuminated", which I found relatively hard to read and follow and was not as smitten with as I imagined. I am now reading "An American Marriage" and am enjoying it much more.

Wondered: If I am actually starting my dream job or if it is still a dream, but pinching has not woken me up yet so I guess we´re good

Got over: My intense FOMO and also at least a little over my desire to be liked by everyone all the time

Enjoyed: Being surrounded by so many people I don´t know yet with very interesting background stories. To be able to actually be around people I may not normally be around and to see how it affects me and them.

Realised: I need less time by myself than I thought I would.

3 Kommentare

, by Céline

Porto

TRAVEL: PORTO

I have been planning a little getaway before diving into full-time employment for the longest time and had already given up on it ever happening, when I got a little text from my dear friend Minh-Thu saying she wanted to head on vacay last week of July. Within a day we booked flights, a darling little Airnbnb and I was lucky enough to enjoy almost a full week of absolute bliss in the gorgeous coastal town of Porto. All we did was wonder the gorgeous streets, lay by the beach and ate loads: in short an absolute perfect vacation. Porto is easily accessible with multiple flights leaving every day from almost every German city (I flew in from Berlin and flew back to Bremen), it has culture, it has beaches and the most gorgeous light I have ever seen. It may be one of my new European favourites and I think it´s just as perfect for a girl´s trip as it is for a romantic getaway. So here are some little trips to make the most of your time in Porto.

Where to Eat

Porto was an absolute paradise for foodies and luckily I went with a friend, who loved good food as much as I did and our main question during our five days was where to have our next meal so we could fit all of the restaurant recommendations in. We were lucky, that a friend of Minh Thu´s has lived in Porto for the past three months and has been coming to the city on vacation for 12 years so we had some insider info. Additionally to what is listed here you a must try in Porto is the famous Francesinha a monstrous sandwich concoction of bread, ham, sausage, roast meat covered in cheese and gravy. And since that is obviously too light a meal it is usually paired with french fries. I only tried the light version of this with only cheese and ham and felt like I needed an hour long nap afterwards. For some alternatives to this belt buster, check out these places:

Cantinho do Avillez

This restaurant belongs to a Portoguese Michelin star chef and while it does not have a Michelin star itself, it is absolutely delicious. They have a great lunch menu for just 15 Euros, which includes a starter (in our case was a mind-blowning cherry Gazpacho), a main meal and a glass of wine, so I would definitely recommend coming here for lunch.

Intrigo

This little hidden gem has hands down the most gorgeous view in Porto. That alone is a reason to visit, but their food was so incredibly good as well! They bake their own bread every day and make their own butter, which may be the best combination of foods to ever exist. I mean we got dark chocolate-walnut-banana bread with rosemary butter and for that alone I would return every single day. My friend´s tuna was delicious and if you are on a budget you can just grab the roast potatoes and the soup and you will get an incredibly meal for five Euros.

Cantina 32

Sadly I missed out on this restaurant due to the most violent food poisoning I have ever experienced, but my friend went and loved it so I wanted to include it in this list. Definitely make a reservation if you want to go at night since it was fully booked every single night we were in Porto. If that is the case for you as well you could just come for lunch.

Da Terra

This place is a vegan buffet and we loved it so much we came back for a second time. They also do lovely juices and the all you can eat option is only 10 Euros. They mainly do salads though and there are not that many hot dishes, but I really loved getting in some veggies after eating mainly carbs for three days. Also make sure you try their vegan desserts.

Cultura Dos Sabores

Another vegan buffet, but this one offers more hot dishes and you get to sit on a swing in the window while you dine. The owner was an absolute sweet heart and I really liked their variety of dishes. I would try to go during the week when the buffet is a little cheaper.

Let´s go to the Beach

Porto is located just off the coast along the Douro river, which means on top of an awesome city trip you also get to enjoy a beach vacation: two birds with one stone. To get to the beach you just have to hop on public transport for a maximum of 45 minutes and you get to soak up as much sunshine and seabreeze as anyone could wish for. We did two beach days and headed to Gondarém (just 15 minutes outside of town) and Miramar (40 minutes away, but absolutely gorgeous and there´s even a little chapel out on the sea). To get to Gondarém you just hop on the bus line number 50 towards Gondarém and get off at Praia da Gondarém - simple as pie. For Miramar you need to get aboard the Linha de Aveiro train, which leaves from Campanhã as well as General Torres and you get off at - you guessed it - Miramar. Just watch out since the trains only run every hour.

Other favourites

To be honest just walking around Porto and soaking up the gorgeous scenery and beautiful tile covered houses is enough of a to do list for a couple of days, but here are some other places to check out:

Taylor

Port wine comes from - you may have guessed it - Porto. So coming to a tasting here is an absolute must and there are loads of wine cellars offering great deals. I would choose Taylor. Not only do they provide the port wine for the Queen of England (and who are we to argue with her taste), they also have a beautiful little garden fully equipped with peacocks and a rooster. Do the cellar tour first and then enjoy your tasting in the garden. Most cellars close at six pm so it will probably e a bit more of a day-drinking situation.

Mon Pére Vintage

This place was my idea of heaven, which led to me going a little nuts. They had amazing accessories, scrunchies for a dollar and so many cute clothes for really low prices. They actually have two different stores and I would make sure to check both of them out. They are located in the super hip quarter of Vit´ria, which also is home to loads of cute cafés and lovely restaurants, so perfect for an afternoon stroll.

Jardim do Morro

Porto has so many beautiful view points, but this little park was our favourite and gives you a gorgeous view over Porto and the beautiful steel bridge Ponte Luis I. This is the perfect spot for sunset watching. Bring some snacks or a bottle of vinho verde and enjoy the sunset. Also a great spot for photo shoots.

4 Kommentare

, by Céline

FLASHBACK FRIDAY: 35/52

SELFCARE SUNDAY: BALANCE

FLASHBACK FRIDAY: 32/52

TRAVEL: PORTO

MEET CELINE

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FLASHBACK FRIDAY: 35/52

SELFCARE SUNDAY: BALANCE

FLASHBACK FRIDAY: 32/52

TRAVEL: PORTO

MEET CELINE

KEEP IN TOUCH

YOUR FAVOURITE POSTS

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