Comparing yourself to others has become a daily activity for most of us. Social media is a huge part of this of course, but it is also inherently human to see other humans and compare your own behaviour to them. It is afterall how societies function, how we learn and how we manage to all live together. However at a certain point comparing yourself to others can become intensely toxic. While this is in large part due to the "perfect" image so many of us present online and also let´s be honsest in real life, the main issue is as so often not the others. It is inside of us, that little voice that does not recognize your accomplishments and amazing traits, but belittles you.

Obviously it is not healthy how so many people portray a perfect life on social media, that is in no way attainable (looking at you influencers in private jet and residing in five star hotels at all times) and it can be shocking to be bombarded by pictures of skinny bodies, flawless legs, perfectly styled outfits, shiny hair and intense make up. And I am all for unfollowing people, who make you feel bad about yourself, but I do think the underlying issue is not only the mishaped picture we have so many others, but also of ourselves.

Belittling yourself is not an invention of the 21st century. I remember idolising people in my school, thinking they were perfect, funny, beautiful and great in every way while I saw myself as ugly, awkward and weird. I did not need their Instagram profile to think this, I made them better than they were, made them bigger, more impressive and more interesting in my head. I think we still do this to this day. It is much easier to celebrate other people´s wins and accomplishments than ourselves. It is much more accepted to beat yourself up, hate yourself or speak badly about yourself than to celebrate you. It is just how our society works.

Ultimately the goal is to seperate your self worth from comparing yourself to others, from making loving yourself based on accomplishments or to do lists or jobs or the number on the scale. Ultimately you do not need to perform, be better or more important than other people. Obviously this ultimate goal is not easy to accomplish, because we have been fed a very different approach to self worth for so many years. Unlearning this takes a conscious effort and is probably still the most difficult thing to accomplish.

Here are some practical tips:

1) Unfollow or mute people, who make you feel small, not important or less than. This applies to social media, but also very much to real life. Sorround yourself with people who make you feel good.

2) Understand that not everything people present of themselves is real. If necessary analyse your own behaviour on social media. Even influencers share about ten to fifteen minutes of their day. That is less than one per cent. You have no idea what else is going on in another person´s life plus there is very much more to life than perfectly styled smoothies and clean appartments.

3) Celebrate your successes. If you are not at that point where you can love yourself without proving you are worth it: make a list. Or let your friends make a list. It is so funny how differently other people view us, how much more they are impressed with our life and actions.

4) Give up on being perfect. Perfect is a fucked up idea, that has been implented in our heads for so long and is absolutely impossible. Instead aim to be happy, to be kind, to be funny, to be loving. And let go of societal ideas of being a good person like jobs, money or posessions.

5) Look at things you are thankful for instead of what you are lacking. If you wake up every day under a roof, with enough food in your frige and with people who love you you are so rich. You are so blessed. You have things millions of people envy you for. So instead of continuing to run after an idea of what you need, be thankful for what you have.